Kiss My Beauty

I love Summer. Even though I am sun and heat sensitive, there is so much about the Summer months that just tickles me.

But there is something in the season that makes me cringe all through Spring. It is all the messaging I get about trying to attain a “beach body.” My butt, my skin, my legs, my abs, these are all on the table as a topic of conversation and judgment by the beauty industrial complex.

I stopped worrying long ago what people thought about my cellulite, my “larger-than-average” backside, and my belly which rises and falls depending on how much amazing and wondrous food I choose to put in my body. I am tired, even, of articles like the one I am writing right now, the ones that say things like, “screw the beauty industry.” Because really, unless you are going to put actual effort into changing it, there is not much point. If you like this article and agree with it, I am preaching to the choir. If you disagree and think I’m a loser, nothing in the world has changed.

So instead of going on and on about the damage the beauty industrial complex (BIC) does, I am going to provide five ways you can stop supporting it. There are many more, but I am an ardent believer in small changes over long periods of time making the most substantial impact, so here goes:

When you buy these things, or entertainment magazines, you are buying negative body image messaging, which is what the BIC thrives on. So stop, or, if you can, cut back. It will help. Especially if you have a subscription you can cancel. The less money you spend on magazines which create self-doubt, the better off you will be in the long run and the more magazines will be forced to place ads that are inspiring and refreshingly realistic.

This is actually one of the best things you can do. Do not judge your friends or even your strangers based on their looks. Do not openly give other people looks of derision. We are all waging internal battles that none of us knows about. There is not a one of us who is free of doubt, free of anxiety over our looks, free of struggle. Be a person who sends people away smiling. As Maya Angelou once famously said,

“ I‘ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

None of your money will go to the BIC if you are buying from a place that resells used clothes, and, if you can, you can choose a place that gives part of the sales to charity. If you stop buying new clothes at department stores, you are giving less money to the companies which pay to advertise negative body image messaging on TV, in magazines, and every other damn place. You also keep your money where it belongs: in your community, your wallet, and your value system.

This is the one I focus on the most because it effects every other thing in my life. The important thing about this, is that it is a PRACTICE, not a PERFECT. This means taking it easy on yourself, loving yourself as if you are of infinite value, because, well, you are. It means doing what you can to forgive yourself and others, to operate outside of the shame/guilt paradigm, and do a little bit every day to discover who you are, who you can become, and how you can celebrate that person in even the smallest of ways.

You see, this is why I hate the BIC the most. Because the damage it does is that it keeps us from becoming powerful, wonderful, creative, imaginative, courageous creatures. It keeps us fearful that we are not what we should be by distracting us from who we are by giving us unrealtistic and completely unimportant goals to attain.

So, if you want change as badly as I do, try at least one of these things. There are so many of us who want change, who believe in the power of the unique and magical, and want the world to evolve to a place where everyone, no matter what they look like, feels as if they have a space to just be.

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