Learning to appreciate love

When I was an angsty teenager — and consequently full of absolute truths about life — , I hated the idea of suffering over an unrequited love. Why love someone when they could hurt you, or worse, not even love you back. It is important to note that every month I was interested in a different person. And would create a whole fairytale story of our lives and break my heart when none of it happened. (Mainly because I was too much of a coward to approach anyone)

I was complaining about this to my mother one day and she said something that I never forgot: She loved being in love. She loved feeling that magic when you care so much about someone else. Love is something that makes you feel good. It is something for yourself to feel and if the other person reciprocates, better, but if they don’t, at least you had an extremely positive feeling.

Of course that at fifteen, I was sure of many more things than I am now and could never believe her. She was obviously delusional and couldn’t understand the pain of a rejection.

Fast forward eleven years. Here I am now. After many heartbreaks, unrequited loves, breakups, love declarations, relationships, crushes and summer loves, I can finally understand what she was talking about.

Love is great. Sometimes it hurts. Sometimes people love you back and it’s great. Sometimes they don’t and that’s okay. What is important is what you felt. That you were so amazed by the mere existence of the person. That their smile was the best part of your day. That you want them to be happy, even if it is not with you. Even if that means just being friends. You just want them to live their best life.

Now, when I am a little bit more mature and a lot less sure about things, I agree with my mother. I love falling and being in love. I learned that showing that you love or have feelings for someone is not something to be afraid of. I learned that this feeling belongs to me. It teaches me to be amazed at the most simple things about someone else. It feels me with joy and appreciation. And it is worth all the pain and heartbreak.

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